You mean it is November already? Hard to believe.
Well, Preston is doing good. Some of his nervousness has come back, though. We made a trip to his psychiatrist this week. We are having to give him some anxiety medication especially in the afternoons. If we don't have to go anywhere he is better. He has always been this way. He has been sad and wanting to cry too, and the dr. changed his depression medication. So we will see how that works.
Preston's new aide came today, Kim, and she is very nice. Of course, she is not Mildred. Mildred hated to be idle and did a lot in the house when she was here. Kim did wash dishes and bathed Preston etc. Preston said he told her to check the clothes in the dryer, but she wouldn't do it, LOL. He said he will train her like he trained Mildred, LOL.
His walking is much better. He walks with his walker (cane) alone a lot now. So that is a big improvement. He feels more secure with the walker and that is great.
Missie and I went out today while aide was here. I was able to get my groceries. If groceries keep going up, I don't know how we are all going to make it; and gas as well. My brother (lives in Canada) says US is headed for a depression. Could be, but like I told him, I cannot worry about it; I have to take one day at a time and not get overwhelmed. The Lord has promised to supply our needs. Anyhow, the aide comes back tomorrow, and I am taking Missie and a friend to ice skate in Greenville. So they will enjoy that. Never a dull moment when you are raising children. But it is good that Missie and I can get out for a change when Preston has someone to stay with him.
Well, it is my bedtime, just wanted to check in.
Thursday, November 1, 2007
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Beautiful Valley
"In this beautiful valley that He's put me in,
I'm learning to trust and draw strength from Him.
I'll not despise the lessons he gives,
For in this beautiful valley, I'm learning to live."
"The shadows around me, can't hide the Son,
Or hold back the dawning, of a new day that's come.
Jesus will hold me, 'til my trials are done,
And He'll ever be with me, 'til the testing is done.
When there's a lesson for learning, He'll take you aside,
To walk in the valley, but He'll be by your side.
Upon the mountain, sweet blessing He gives,
But down in the valley is where we learn to live."
I was looking through some of my many song books and found this song. I haven't heard it for years, but it is pretty much the story of my life.
Having a sick or special needs child, is the valley God has chosen for Junior and I. Why? I don't know; maybe because He knew we would give this special child the upmost care, love, and Christian training. I never would have thought I could have handled it; but I have for 19 1/2 years. I have questioned God about it. We were in the Lord's work and I loved it!!! I am more of a people person than Junior, but I did a lot of the interacting with people, and Junior preached. He did visit, don't get me wrong, but I visited and helped people a lot. Due to Preston's illness, we had to leave the ministry, as it put such a strain on Junior and I's emotions, body, etc., and we didn't have enough to go around of ourselves for our own family which included Preston and for others whom we pastored. Now we are being ministered too. This last long illness of Preston's is the only time we have had a church behind us, to support us in every way, and it proved to be such a blessing. Our pastor, Bro. Terry Going, and our people, stood with us during this long hospital stay, and still are praying for us, and what a blessing. We have had to accept the fact that we will probably never be in the ministry again. But next to God, we have to take care of ourselves as a family, and Preston is part of that family. Missie has very different needs and we have to care for her as well. Right now she is gone to youth retreat, and was soooo excited she could hardly stand it. If it wasn't for Easley Bible Methodist Church, she might not have gotten to go. But they paid the way for our youth to go and that is another blessing. I remember Jennifer (Hester) Going telling in Curtis' and her service at our church, that youth camp had helped her spiritually so much. Missie needs that extra boost, and to be with other young people of like faith. I cannot wait to hear all about it when she gets home. She needs to go to school. It is scary to think we have to leave everything here and move to another state, but we feel it literally means the salvation of her mind of and soul to be in a holiness school. I just have to say we have tried Baptist schools, and the last one just about did Missie in. They wanted to prove to me that Christians lie, and it all boils down to the damning doctrine of the sinning religion. Missie kept telling them over and over she was not guilty, and they kept trying to get her to say she was. I know she wasn't guilty, but I was involved in the whole situation with another student's mom, so I know! I cannot send her to a school that believes you can do anything, wear anything, look anyway and still be a Christian. And whether everyone agrees or not, the standards of these schools rub off on our holiness children. It has proven to be true. I said all of that to say this. If we want Missie to continue in the holiness way, we have to move. I know God is in control and will lead and guide us. After the New Year, Junior will be looking into jobs in PA, close to Penn View. There is a possibility of our moving to NC if he cannot get a job in PA. We have friends in NC close to a holiness school whom Jr. can work for, and the weather would be much the same as here, which we would like. But PA is Missie's first choice and ours as well, as she can go right on into Bible College after high school. Please help us pray God will open the right doors. He is able. But Missie cannot be put on the back burner because of all of Preston's problems. We have 2 very different children with very different needs, and that is a challenge. But Preston's illness and his qualifying for a nurse's aide in our home, frees up some time for me to take Missie places and do things with her. We are both enjoying that so much. But it is not enough. She needs young people her age to be with, too.
So that is my update. I feel I am starting to feel a little more normal or seeing a bit of light at the end of my tunnel. Not only is it taking Preston months to recover from it all, but it is taking time for us ALL to recover and I am so glad God knows about it all, and is helping.
Preston is getting much better about his walking! If he doesn't think about it, and is talking to me or something, he will be walking right along but when he thinks about it he gets nervous of falling and wants us to hold on to him. I have to post a picture I took last night of him and Jr. coming out of the bathroom, where he had a hold of Jr.'s suspenders.
You all keep holding us up in prayer.
I'm learning to trust and draw strength from Him.
I'll not despise the lessons he gives,
For in this beautiful valley, I'm learning to live."
"The shadows around me, can't hide the Son,
Or hold back the dawning, of a new day that's come.
Jesus will hold me, 'til my trials are done,
And He'll ever be with me, 'til the testing is done.
When there's a lesson for learning, He'll take you aside,
To walk in the valley, but He'll be by your side.
Upon the mountain, sweet blessing He gives,
But down in the valley is where we learn to live."
I was looking through some of my many song books and found this song. I haven't heard it for years, but it is pretty much the story of my life.
Having a sick or special needs child, is the valley God has chosen for Junior and I. Why? I don't know; maybe because He knew we would give this special child the upmost care, love, and Christian training. I never would have thought I could have handled it; but I have for 19 1/2 years. I have questioned God about it. We were in the Lord's work and I loved it!!! I am more of a people person than Junior, but I did a lot of the interacting with people, and Junior preached. He did visit, don't get me wrong, but I visited and helped people a lot. Due to Preston's illness, we had to leave the ministry, as it put such a strain on Junior and I's emotions, body, etc., and we didn't have enough to go around of ourselves for our own family which included Preston and for others whom we pastored. Now we are being ministered too. This last long illness of Preston's is the only time we have had a church behind us, to support us in every way, and it proved to be such a blessing. Our pastor, Bro. Terry Going, and our people, stood with us during this long hospital stay, and still are praying for us, and what a blessing. We have had to accept the fact that we will probably never be in the ministry again. But next to God, we have to take care of ourselves as a family, and Preston is part of that family. Missie has very different needs and we have to care for her as well. Right now she is gone to youth retreat, and was soooo excited she could hardly stand it. If it wasn't for Easley Bible Methodist Church, she might not have gotten to go. But they paid the way for our youth to go and that is another blessing. I remember Jennifer (Hester) Going telling in Curtis' and her service at our church, that youth camp had helped her spiritually so much. Missie needs that extra boost, and to be with other young people of like faith. I cannot wait to hear all about it when she gets home. She needs to go to school. It is scary to think we have to leave everything here and move to another state, but we feel it literally means the salvation of her mind of and soul to be in a holiness school. I just have to say we have tried Baptist schools, and the last one just about did Missie in. They wanted to prove to me that Christians lie, and it all boils down to the damning doctrine of the sinning religion. Missie kept telling them over and over she was not guilty, and they kept trying to get her to say she was. I know she wasn't guilty, but I was involved in the whole situation with another student's mom, so I know! I cannot send her to a school that believes you can do anything, wear anything, look anyway and still be a Christian. And whether everyone agrees or not, the standards of these schools rub off on our holiness children. It has proven to be true. I said all of that to say this. If we want Missie to continue in the holiness way, we have to move. I know God is in control and will lead and guide us. After the New Year, Junior will be looking into jobs in PA, close to Penn View. There is a possibility of our moving to NC if he cannot get a job in PA. We have friends in NC close to a holiness school whom Jr. can work for, and the weather would be much the same as here, which we would like. But PA is Missie's first choice and ours as well, as she can go right on into Bible College after high school. Please help us pray God will open the right doors. He is able. But Missie cannot be put on the back burner because of all of Preston's problems. We have 2 very different children with very different needs, and that is a challenge. But Preston's illness and his qualifying for a nurse's aide in our home, frees up some time for me to take Missie places and do things with her. We are both enjoying that so much. But it is not enough. She needs young people her age to be with, too.
So that is my update. I feel I am starting to feel a little more normal or seeing a bit of light at the end of my tunnel. Not only is it taking Preston months to recover from it all, but it is taking time for us ALL to recover and I am so glad God knows about it all, and is helping.
Preston is getting much better about his walking! If he doesn't think about it, and is talking to me or something, he will be walking right along but when he thinks about it he gets nervous of falling and wants us to hold on to him. I have to post a picture I took last night of him and Jr. coming out of the bathroom, where he had a hold of Jr.'s suspenders.
You all keep holding us up in prayer.
Monday, October 22, 2007
Exciting News!
Preston has walked independantly today!!! He walked in the bathroom from commode to sink, which is not far at all, as we really have a small bathroom. But then he walked out the bathroom door into the living room and to his bedroom door. Without any help!!! He then walked in front of his desk to his hospital bed, turned around and sat down on it. He is steadily improving now, especially since we got him the cane. But the walking from the bathroom to his room was without the cane.
Last night we heard a tremendous message on being lukewarm. To be honest, I guess I feel that way. It is more like a feeling of numbness inside. Have you ever felt numb to where you feel like you can't feel anything?? I think it is fibromyalgia fatigue, discouragement, mental and physical exhaustion from all that has happened since April 30th. One church we went to used to sing a chorus, "I never got tired yet, I never got tired yet; way down in the bottom of my heart, I never got tired yet." I am not sure I can sing that. I guess I am just so tired of fighting the battles year after year. Is that ok to feel that way? It has been a long hard road, and I think it is just now catching up with me. It is just to the point in my life (maybe because I am 50 now???) that I cannot push myself any longer. Maybe when I get rested out I will feel differently. Right now, I can only seemingly do what is necessary in my home and for my family, and that is it. I cannot reach out much to anyone else, or do anything for my church; cannot even attend all the services. I just wonder how long it will be this way. I know having a sick child for 19 1/2 years has taken its toll. And I am not getting any younger. And I have fibromyalgia. I have to take all of that into consideration. Just wanted to share my heart.
Last night we heard a tremendous message on being lukewarm. To be honest, I guess I feel that way. It is more like a feeling of numbness inside. Have you ever felt numb to where you feel like you can't feel anything?? I think it is fibromyalgia fatigue, discouragement, mental and physical exhaustion from all that has happened since April 30th. One church we went to used to sing a chorus, "I never got tired yet, I never got tired yet; way down in the bottom of my heart, I never got tired yet." I am not sure I can sing that. I guess I am just so tired of fighting the battles year after year. Is that ok to feel that way? It has been a long hard road, and I think it is just now catching up with me. It is just to the point in my life (maybe because I am 50 now???) that I cannot push myself any longer. Maybe when I get rested out I will feel differently. Right now, I can only seemingly do what is necessary in my home and for my family, and that is it. I cannot reach out much to anyone else, or do anything for my church; cannot even attend all the services. I just wonder how long it will be this way. I know having a sick child for 19 1/2 years has taken its toll. And I am not getting any younger. And I have fibromyalgia. I have to take all of that into consideration. Just wanted to share my heart.
Sunday, October 21, 2007
No pictures
For some reason, I cannot post any pictures, so can't get a picture on here of Preston sitting outside yesterday.
Anyhow, I wanted to share something cute that Preston said the other day. I have a frame in the shape of the a school and you put one picture in for every year for 12 years. Well, he has 11 pictures in it, and this year will be the last picture for me to add. I told him I had one more picture to add, and he said, "that will be the end of me." I thought that was so cute and quite smart as well! I am thankful for his sense of humor.
We received a HUGE compliment at church tonight. Joy James was talking to Preston when Jr. and I walked up to him after church. People at the hospital are constantly asking her about him, and how we are doing. Anyhow, she said that we take such good care of him. She said she was telling someone that every since he has been born and had a lot of illness, that we have always taken care of him like it was what we were supposed to do. I told her some in both families don't agree with us taking care of him, but that he was our child and not their's. Anyhow, it was a great compliment that she paid us. We do try to take care of him. I told her we get very tired. But as long as we can; we will continue to do what we are doing.
Missie has decided she wants to go to youth retreat. So she is going. I would rather her stay here; I feel better if she is here with me. But her daddy especially feels she needs to go; so I will manage ok. I will have help 3 hrs. both Thurs. and Fri. that she is gone. I always worry about her; but have to trust the Lord to take care of her. I don't think I could ever live without Missie. I lean on her, probably too much; but I feel so much better when I have her here to help me. Anyhow, it will be so good for her to go. She is looking forward to being with the Olivers and their children.
That is my update for today.
Anyhow, I wanted to share something cute that Preston said the other day. I have a frame in the shape of the a school and you put one picture in for every year for 12 years. Well, he has 11 pictures in it, and this year will be the last picture for me to add. I told him I had one more picture to add, and he said, "that will be the end of me." I thought that was so cute and quite smart as well! I am thankful for his sense of humor.
We received a HUGE compliment at church tonight. Joy James was talking to Preston when Jr. and I walked up to him after church. People at the hospital are constantly asking her about him, and how we are doing. Anyhow, she said that we take such good care of him. She said she was telling someone that every since he has been born and had a lot of illness, that we have always taken care of him like it was what we were supposed to do. I told her some in both families don't agree with us taking care of him, but that he was our child and not their's. Anyhow, it was a great compliment that she paid us. We do try to take care of him. I told her we get very tired. But as long as we can; we will continue to do what we are doing.
Missie has decided she wants to go to youth retreat. So she is going. I would rather her stay here; I feel better if she is here with me. But her daddy especially feels she needs to go; so I will manage ok. I will have help 3 hrs. both Thurs. and Fri. that she is gone. I always worry about her; but have to trust the Lord to take care of her. I don't think I could ever live without Missie. I lean on her, probably too much; but I feel so much better when I have her here to help me. Anyhow, it will be so good for her to go. She is looking forward to being with the Olivers and their children.
That is my update for today.
Saturday, October 20, 2007
Good day!
Well, overall today has been a good day. Jr. and Missie put up the wallpaper border in Preston's room. Then I put up his pet net and it is overflowing with stuffed animals. He won't let me get rid of them. I was able to get rid of some a while back. But he really needs 2 pet nets to hold them all. I will take pictures of his room and post some on here. It looks very nice with the blue walls, sea life wallpaper border, then wall stickers to match the border. Also, when I was up in Canada I found ceramic fish, turtle, seahorse, etc. for 25 cents each or less and bought them. I am pleased with his room. He likes it too.
Preston went outside and sat on his swing today on our porch. We moved it back up to the porch so it would be closer for him to sit on it and swing. It makes it crowded but that is ok. He put his hat and sunglasses on and sat outside for a while. I was glad for him to get some fresh air and sunshine.
I was thinking while folding clothes about my feelings of fatigue that I have, from the last 19 years, since Preston has been born and has had so many problems, then it came to me: there are some things Jr. and I will never have to face with our son, that many others have had to face. He will never go to war; he will never drink, smoke or take drugs; he will never be sexually immoral; he will never know the depths of a sinful life and that is such a HUGE blessing. No, he will never graduate from high school or college; he will never have a job probably; but what is more important? We know that he will make it to Heaven and that is worth it all. It is worth it all to go through the sorrows of a sick child to know he will never go to Hell. That just thrills my heart. While other parents have bleeding hearts for their lost children (in sin); Jr. and I have bleeding hearts because Preston isn't normal and we have had to watch him suffer. No one wants to see their children suffer. But I am so thankful for the things he will never do. I only hope and pray Missie will never experience the sinful life too. That is why it is so important to get her in a Holiness school. She goes into 9th grade next year; that is hard to believe. I don't care if we don't have a lot, just to get her a holiness education and see her totally rooted and grounded in the Lord is our greatest desire.
Many are worried about my physical health with caring for Preston, but we all work together as a family. Missie is right there to help me when Jr. is at work. When Jr. is home, he does most of it. So although there are some hard times for me since I have this arthritis and fibromyalgia, we plan to care for him as long as we can. We realize we might not always be able too. But he is improving and using the cane with the legs is helping. Jr. and I washed his hair and gave him a shower today. He gets one good shower a week, and bed baths during the week.
Friday is Mildred's last day; we will greatly miss her. She sweeps, does dishes, take clothes out of dryer and folds them all, and puts away what goes in kitchen and bathroom; she loves to be busy. It helps lighten my load a lot! I am sorry she has to go right now. Preston will miss her too.
Please just prayer that Hannah will be able to start sooner than the middle of December!
Preston went outside and sat on his swing today on our porch. We moved it back up to the porch so it would be closer for him to sit on it and swing. It makes it crowded but that is ok. He put his hat and sunglasses on and sat outside for a while. I was glad for him to get some fresh air and sunshine.
I was thinking while folding clothes about my feelings of fatigue that I have, from the last 19 years, since Preston has been born and has had so many problems, then it came to me: there are some things Jr. and I will never have to face with our son, that many others have had to face. He will never go to war; he will never drink, smoke or take drugs; he will never be sexually immoral; he will never know the depths of a sinful life and that is such a HUGE blessing. No, he will never graduate from high school or college; he will never have a job probably; but what is more important? We know that he will make it to Heaven and that is worth it all. It is worth it all to go through the sorrows of a sick child to know he will never go to Hell. That just thrills my heart. While other parents have bleeding hearts for their lost children (in sin); Jr. and I have bleeding hearts because Preston isn't normal and we have had to watch him suffer. No one wants to see their children suffer. But I am so thankful for the things he will never do. I only hope and pray Missie will never experience the sinful life too. That is why it is so important to get her in a Holiness school. She goes into 9th grade next year; that is hard to believe. I don't care if we don't have a lot, just to get her a holiness education and see her totally rooted and grounded in the Lord is our greatest desire.
Many are worried about my physical health with caring for Preston, but we all work together as a family. Missie is right there to help me when Jr. is at work. When Jr. is home, he does most of it. So although there are some hard times for me since I have this arthritis and fibromyalgia, we plan to care for him as long as we can. We realize we might not always be able too. But he is improving and using the cane with the legs is helping. Jr. and I washed his hair and gave him a shower today. He gets one good shower a week, and bed baths during the week.
Friday is Mildred's last day; we will greatly miss her. She sweeps, does dishes, take clothes out of dryer and folds them all, and puts away what goes in kitchen and bathroom; she loves to be busy. It helps lighten my load a lot! I am sorry she has to go right now. Preston will miss her too.
Please just prayer that Hannah will be able to start sooner than the middle of December!
Friday, October 19, 2007
G-tube is out!
Well, we made it to the dr. and back. The nurse, Karen numbed the area on the outside, then told Preston it would hurt like someone punched him and knocked the wind out of him. She yanked a couple of times and out it came. He complained for a few minutes about the pain, but then she had him smiling and told him she loved him. He said he loved her too. I hugged her and thanked her for being so nice and all. We won't have to go back there again if it closes up ok. He has a bandage over it, and we have to change the bandages a few times over the next few days, but within 48 hr. it should start closing up. Right now food and liquids are leaking out some. I am glad it is over. Now if it will close up, we will be fine.
Our transporters were a husband/wife team with Med Shore and they are real sweet. They are not supposed to stop anywhere with a patient in, but Preston wanted McDonald's breakfast so they stopped and let me go in and get it. So that was sweet of them. We have had them before. We will miss all the Med Shore people when we no longer need stretcher transport. Until we get a ramp though, we will need it unless they want to take the wheelchair backwards down all 14 steps! That would not be a good idea I don't think.
Well, been doing housework and helping Missie study for a test since I have been back. Not gonna do much else today. I took all my meds. last night and am not aching nearly as bad today, thank the Lord for that! Yesterday it was terrible.
You all have a nice weekend.
Our transporters were a husband/wife team with Med Shore and they are real sweet. They are not supposed to stop anywhere with a patient in, but Preston wanted McDonald's breakfast so they stopped and let me go in and get it. So that was sweet of them. We have had them before. We will miss all the Med Shore people when we no longer need stretcher transport. Until we get a ramp though, we will need it unless they want to take the wheelchair backwards down all 14 steps! That would not be a good idea I don't think.
Well, been doing housework and helping Missie study for a test since I have been back. Not gonna do much else today. I took all my meds. last night and am not aching nearly as bad today, thank the Lord for that! Yesterday it was terrible.
You all have a nice weekend.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
It's already Thurs.
This week has flown by. I am in a lot of pain with fibro. and experiencing the chronic fatique with it. My chest pains got a bit better though, and I am thankful for that. But today I have ached all over and just wanted to sleep all day, but that is impossible in my situation!
Anyhow, tomorrow a.m. we go to dr. to have the g-tube removed from Preston's tummy. They just pull it out quickly. I hope it won't hurt too bad; he is kind of afraid it will hurt. Also, he cannot eat in a.m. but he doesn't seem too worried about that.
Seniors Unlimited called tonight for directions to pick Preston up in a wheelchair van to go to his appt. He cannot go in a wheelchair to a van down in our driveway because of our yard. So I had to call medicaid transportation and start all over and finally got it arranged for him to have stretcher transport tomorrow. They even asked me this time how many steps we had! I said we have done this millions of times, I know that was an exaggeration, and we have to go through all of these questions? I had never counted them before so went out and counted them and there are 14! I explained they have to take him clear down into the yard to get him to ambulance. Anyhow, they called Med Shore and they are transporting us tomorrow; thank goodness. We have to be ready at 9:15 so that means I have to get up early. If I am sick with a fibro flair, it is hard on me to get up early, but am taking ALL of my prescription meds. tonight and hopefully I will feel much better in a.m.
Pray that all will go smoothly with the g-tube removal! They said the hole usually closes up itself, but if not, then they have to close it up. Preston doesn't usually follow any medical rules so I don't really know what to expect.
We got Preston a cane with 4 little legs on it at Walmart and it is helping his walking tremendously! He can lean on it, rather than me, or Jr. He actually walked the length of his desk last night and turned around and sat on his bed without any help. So he is getting stronger.
Hannah has been accepted in the program to be a companion and caregiver for Preston and has her ID number and we are waiting on a home visit with a nurse, Hannah, and us. They say it will be in Dec. probably. We are number 18 on a waiting list of 120. Maybe it will be sooner than that, I hope!
Gotta get to bed soon.
Anyhow, tomorrow a.m. we go to dr. to have the g-tube removed from Preston's tummy. They just pull it out quickly. I hope it won't hurt too bad; he is kind of afraid it will hurt. Also, he cannot eat in a.m. but he doesn't seem too worried about that.
Seniors Unlimited called tonight for directions to pick Preston up in a wheelchair van to go to his appt. He cannot go in a wheelchair to a van down in our driveway because of our yard. So I had to call medicaid transportation and start all over and finally got it arranged for him to have stretcher transport tomorrow. They even asked me this time how many steps we had! I said we have done this millions of times, I know that was an exaggeration, and we have to go through all of these questions? I had never counted them before so went out and counted them and there are 14! I explained they have to take him clear down into the yard to get him to ambulance. Anyhow, they called Med Shore and they are transporting us tomorrow; thank goodness. We have to be ready at 9:15 so that means I have to get up early. If I am sick with a fibro flair, it is hard on me to get up early, but am taking ALL of my prescription meds. tonight and hopefully I will feel much better in a.m.
Pray that all will go smoothly with the g-tube removal! They said the hole usually closes up itself, but if not, then they have to close it up. Preston doesn't usually follow any medical rules so I don't really know what to expect.
We got Preston a cane with 4 little legs on it at Walmart and it is helping his walking tremendously! He can lean on it, rather than me, or Jr. He actually walked the length of his desk last night and turned around and sat on his bed without any help. So he is getting stronger.
Hannah has been accepted in the program to be a companion and caregiver for Preston and has her ID number and we are waiting on a home visit with a nurse, Hannah, and us. They say it will be in Dec. probably. We are number 18 on a waiting list of 120. Maybe it will be sooner than that, I hope!
Gotta get to bed soon.
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